Why are there so few positive birth stories?
It feels like every time we gather as moms whether it’s at playgroup, coffee, or online, birth stories come up; and more often than not, they’re hard to hear, aren’t they?? It’s a constant flood of emergency C-sections, epidurals that don’t work, rushed inductions, doctors who didn’t listen, and so moments that felt out of control. It sometimes feels like for every happy, empowering birth story, there seem to be ten that leave women feeling shaken, and traumatized by their experience.
So why is that?
I think sometimes the stories we hang on to are the ones that are more painful.
I am not sure if its because in some way we like to replay negativity, or our minds tell us we should remember those painful moments (psychology people help me out here? LOL) but it feels like I only ever remember hearing peoples traumatic births, not the ones that go “according to plan.”
As a mom who had an unfortunately traumatic emergency birth with my son, I often wish more moms shared positive experiences to give some hope of light on what could have been or what could be in the future.
This makes me question whether moms who have had a positive birth story might feel guilt for not enduring the traumatic experience of a friend. Are we putting mom guilt on ourselves around other moms too?
Creating safe spaces to share is one of the main reasons I created The Mom Collective.
My hope is that this community becomes that safe place for moms to share the good, the great, the bad, the ugly of all phases of motherhood-and that starts at the beginning.
So if you had a positive birth, share it. Not to minimize anyone else’s experience, but to add light to the conversation. Because every birth story matters.
Birth Circles will be coming soon to The Mom Collective, led by Florida Birth Movement, Kimmy McDaniels. & then soon i’ll share my story, and how it was Kimmy who helped me come to terms with what I experienced, and how it doesn’t define how my motherhood began-it just helped reshape it.
